Lead Me Where

This week we had a guest speaker in one of my classes.

He spoke about discpleship; building intentional, one-on-one relationships with fellow beleivers for the purpose of mutual growth. Relationships based on love and friendship.

As you can imagine, given my rather intense interest in intentionality, love, and friendship, the talks held me spellbound, start to finish.

But the speaker was not shy about the trails of discipleship. He didn’t sugarcoat or skim over the trying parts of discipleship. The parts where you get on your knees and beg God to remind you why you’re doing this in the first place.

It’s a proven fact that when you allow people so close to your heart, invite them there even, some amount of pain is involved.

Often, a fair amount of pain.

Because we’re broken people, and they’re broken people, and broken + broken = hurt.

And as I sat in class, taking copious amounts of notes in my little blue notebook, something I have thought many times before rose up again in front of me.

What motivates me to discipleship?

I understand why we do discipleship: because, well, God commanded us to, and for the purpose of growing closer to Him.

I get that.

But what motivates me to not only open my arms to the likely hurt that comes with these relationships, but to literally pursue it?

I can think of several acceptable motivators, but I wonder, will those things keep me around? When it’s hard to love and it’s messy because we’re both people and this is not Heaven, what will motivate me to stick around?

Will what motivated me to reach out in the first place be enough to make me stay?

~Natalia