Closest I’ve Been

I’ve music everywhere.

In the car, rotating through six presets, and all the options in between.

At home, surprisingly crisp from my computer’s seven-year-old speakers.

On my phone, melodies lilting from my pocket as I move about my day.

In 4th grade, I had been teaching for barely a week when I set up the speaker system I found at the back of the room.

Now, there’s a sign on the board that says Music = Working Quietly. But I’ve made no decree about singing along, and, to be honest, I love when little hands hold pencils, little minds work, and all the while, little mouths sing.

The music I surround myself with helps my mood, determines my mood, categorizes my mood. I use it to understand, to encourage, to erase.

Of course, for classroom use, when I’ve little ones balanced in the booster seats in the backseat, then it’s Christian music, Christian music only.

Other times, the music is louder, different, weaving stories and beats that neither talk about God nor sound like things He would say.

I’ve thought about those songs- music from my beloved country genre, as well as the ever-pervasive pop.

I’ve thought about giving them up, all those other stations, those other themes and values.

But I love them a little too much for that.

But today, yesterday, even this week, I’m so hungry, so desperate, for Christ in my life, for His voice and His strength and His guidance,

I really am the closest I’ve ever been to narrowing, to limiting, to specializing in Christian music,

because, at least today, I can’t seem to get enough.

~ Natalia


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: