Grace for Today

Yea, you were so happy every day in 4th grade! He says, glancing over from the corner, the computer screen glowing white before him.

I smile, laughing a little.

But then I pause, my head against the wall behind my rolling chair, and the words settle into my heart, heavy.

I don’t compare- I really can’t compare- between 4th grade, my home for 14 weeks, and kindergarten, where I’ve been for less than two weeks.

But he’s right; it’s true. These past two weeks have been so much pouring out, so much planning and working and corralling.

I smile when I don’t feel like smiling and I speak gently when my patience is thin

and I look out every morning at thirteen sweet, tiny souls who I have the privilege of loving and teaching every day,

and it is hard work.

It’s only Wednesday but it’s also already Wednesday,

and I have work to do yet this evening,

and I’m drinking in praise music like life itself,

and I’ve so many other things on my mind, my heart,

but tomorrow I get up (6:10- a sleep in day!) and I want to be ready,

I want to be full,

I want to be able to give,

because these weeks- oh they have taken out of me.

And I don’t know what tomorrow will be,

I don’t know what crises will occur,

what joys there might be,

but tomorrow has enough worry of its own,

and today has grace enough.

So I hold onto that,

take a breath,

and take another step.

~Natalia

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